


more worth saving

by ApatheticRobots



Series: treating tfp starscream right since the show won't do it [5]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:49:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27353758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApatheticRobots/pseuds/ApatheticRobots
Summary: He wouldn’t say he liked Optimus Prime. There was only so far he was willing to fall. But he would say, with only mild posturing, that he hated spending time around Optimus Prime the least. That out of all of them, the Prime was the most tolerable.(Or; Starscream makes a mistake, but it's not really one that anyone can blame him for.)
Relationships: Optimus Prime & Starscream
Series: treating tfp starscream right since the show won't do it [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919443
Comments: 11
Kudos: 121





	more worth saving

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd and not really proofread. Inspired by [this comic](https://ari-leah-arts.tumblr.com/post/633413954527428608/listen-old-habits-die-hard-and-megatron-is) by Tumblr user @ari-leah-arts 
> 
> i will give starscream so many hugs and you CANNOT stop me. 
> 
> can be read as romantic/pre-slash if you'd like i suppose but it wasnt really my intention lol

So, like, Autobots.

If you’d had suggested to the Starscream of a couple years ago that he’d find himself on their side at some point, he’d have laughed in your face and also probably shot you. Or had someone else shoot you. That sort of talk was traitorous, a suggestion of blasphemy. Just because Starscream tried to kill Megatron all the time didn’t mean he was a traitor to the Decepticon cause! In fact, most of his murder attempts were for the  _ betterment _ of the Decepticons. Because as much as no one was willing to admit it, Megatron was actually a pretty shit leader. 

But yeah, anyways, Starscream was an Autobot now. He even had the little symbol on his chest where the Decepticon one used to be.

Reception was… mixed, of course. Everyone but Prime had outright not believed him that he genuinely wanted to switch sides. (They were right, of course, he was mostly using it as a diversion tactic so they wouldn’t kill him. But then Prime had given him this hopeful little look and even he had a hard time saying no to that.) Prime had believed him, and Prime was the leader, so they’d brought him back to their base and had him read an abridged version of the Autobot code. Then Ratchet had switched out his emblem and he was officially an Autobot before he could really register what was going on. And at this point it would just be really awkward if he told them it was all a ploy.

Especially because Arcee had finally stopped trying to kill him every other day. Primus, was this how Megatron felt? Constantly paranoid that someone was going to make an attempt on your life? Maybe he should apologize before he tried to shoot the guy next time. Or maybe those were the infectious sentimentalities getting to him.

The first Autobot seeker. There was something kind of novel about it. 

Not that they were really utilizing him to the fullest extent, of course. None of them really had any experience commanding a flier, and they also kind of didn’t trust him still, so the chances he got to leave the base were next to nil. Ratchet  _ did _ give him an allotted amount of time to stretch his wings, though. So at least he wasn’t a complete sadist. Being grounded  _ and _ stuck in a glorified cave would’ve practically been torture.

But he didn’t really get to go on any missions. Sure, they’d have him scout out energon sources, put that “seeker” title of his to good use, but once they found it they’d send him back to base and secure it themselves. It was a little rude. They wouldn’t have found it in the first place without him, and they wouldn’t even let him stick around to reap the rewards.

At least they weren’t starving him.

The rational part of his processor (the one that was taking a nap most of the time) suggested that maybe it was good that he was getting away from the Decepticons if he considered “being allowed to fly” and “not being starved” luxury treatment. 

So while the rest of the ‘bots went on missions, he stayed in the base, putzing around on consoles or organizing things. Usually Ratchet stayed as well. Sometimes one of the other bots did, strictly because they were injured, and they often ended up leaving to act as backup anyways. Which was fine-- Starscream preferred solitude.

Better than the constant sour looks he got when the other Autobots were around.

There was one mech, at least, whose company Starscream didn’t mind. And surprisingly (or maybe not so much) it was the Prime.

Starscream had never really thought all that highly of Optimus Prime, even back on Cybertron. Partially because  _ Megatron _ had never thought very highly of him once he’d gotten the title and also because the whole idea of naming a new Prime was just a little ridiculous. They were a part of history, they were obsolete, there hadn’t been a Prime in millennia and things were going just fine. Optimus had only been named such because the Senate thought they could manipulate him into giving them a Primus-graced reason for their shitty actions.

It was like they’d forgotten that Orion Pax was the second half of Megatron’s revolution.

(Starscream hadn’t forgotten.)

He’d thought he’d end up minding hanging out with the Prime a lot more. He expected the same sober righteousness he’d gotten on the battlefield. His perceptions, as he was starting to realize was going to be a common occurrence, were proven fantastically wrong.

There was still an amount of awkward detachment, especially when Optimus was interacting with the rest of the Autobots or their human companions, but he was an altogether different mech than on the battlefield. Even more so when it was just him and Starscream alone in the base, doing their respective things and not really talking to each other.

Maybe he felt like Starscream was in no position to judge. Or, slightly less cynically, maybe he didn’t have the same feeling of responsibility towards Starscream as the rest of the Autobots. They all saw him a certain way, looked up to him. Even Ratchet. But Starscream had no misconceptions about the kind of mech he was. At least-- none that would require him to act like a hardaft to keep those misconceptions going. He didn’t have any appearances to keep up.

Which… That was a little nice, Starscream supposed. Having the slagging  _ Prime _ be so lax around him. The closest thing he’d gotten with that ever was Knock Out, but even Knock Out acted a certain way around him. The only mech the medic was ever really his true self around was probably Breakdown.

He hoped they were doing alright in his absence. That Megatron hadn’t decided he needed a new punching bag and moved on to one of them. 

He wouldn’t say he liked Optimus Prime. There was only so far he was willing to fall. But he would say, with only mild posturing, that he hated spending time around Optimus Prime the least. That out of all of them, the Prime was the most tolerable.

Almost kind of endearing sometimes, in fact. Like the way he would idly sort of hum to himself as he worked. The twitching of his finials, his idle fidgets. Starscream never thought he’d call Optimus fragging Prime  _ cute. _ But now that he wasn’t being attacked by the mech every other day, it was a lot easier to look at him in a positive light.

Starscream didn’t mind working with Optimus in the room. Most of the other Autobots would spend their time glaring at him, which made it hard for him to actually focus, but not the Prime. If he paid Starscream any mind at all, it was simply to make casual conversation. And he didn’t bother Starscream while he was clearly focusing on what he was doing. That was nice. It let him actually get into what he was doing, to the point where his surroundings faded into the background. 

Really, who was responsible for this filing system before Starscream showed up? It was  _ atrocious.  _ Optimus used to be an archivist, didn’t he? Who was he letting it get so disorganized? There were ancient mission reports filed in with even older census records. Pre-war documents stuck in the same folder as ones from a week ago. He knew Prime was often busy, but this was just-- just  _ ludicrous.  _

Maybe it was good that Starscream didn’t have much of anything else to do. It gave him all the time in the world to fix this disaster.

So he buckled down and shut out everything except the barest hint of attention to his surroundings (as ignoring them completely was a recipe for an ambush) and the console in front of him. As much as he hated not having anything resembling a rank, he did like being able to work without being distracted by something inconsequential every five minutes.

He wouldn’t admit to losing track of where exactly he was, because that would be admitting he was ever not watching his back. Which was not a good idea. But whether or not he admitted to it didn’t change the fact that it’s exactly what happened.

He lost track of where he was, simply focusing on the console in front of him.

Which meant when a deep voice spoke up from nearby, asking; “Starscream, do you have a moment?” he replied instinctively, as he’d both been trained and trained himself to do over the course of many, many years.

“Of course, Master.”

Silence. A solid ten seconds of it, before Starscream realized what he’d said and where he was and his spark skipped a beat. 

_ Scrap. _

He turned around to face Optimus, a defensive protest on the edge of his vocalizer.  _ You’re hearing things, I don’t know what you’re talking about. _ He would have said it, too, but the Prime’s expression made him lose the words in one fell swoop. Damn Optimus for being comfortable enough around him to go without his mask. It made it so Starscream could see all the distraught horror written across his face. Something in Starscream’s chassis twisted.

Shit shit shit shit-- “Old habit!” he shrieked in some attempt at an excuse, which only made Optimus’s face fall more, and Starscream clapped his servos over his mouth. Maybe he should just stop talking.

Optimus took a step forward, and Starcream took a step back. Optimus stepped forward again, and Starscream shuffled backwards again, and his legs bumped against the console. Leaving him with nowhere to go as the Prime kept approaching. He held his hands up. “Look, let’s just-- Why don’t we just forget this ever happened, hm? No need to make a big deal out of it. It was merely an accide--” 

A solid pair of arms wrapped around him.

What was this? Was it an attack? Was the Prime about to pick him up and throw him or something? His hands were pinned to his chassis, he couldn’t exactly defend himself. He supposed he could activate his thrusters, maybe burn Optimus’s hands to get him to let go. Kick him and transform and fly off? Shoot him? Activate his rockets and maybe damage them both? 

A thousand different possible courses of actions whirled through his processor, and he almost missed the quiet words spoken by the Prime in his audial. He had to stop planning his escape and play the clip over again to actually hear what had been said.

_ “I’m sorry.” _

Starscream froze. 

Oh. This wasn’t an attack, his processor finally provided as it stopped panicking and caught up with the situation. It was a  _ hug.  _ (The Autobots really had gone native, hadn’t they?)

“Oh,” he said.

Optimus’s grip tightened, his plating creaking slightly. Starscream just stayed right where he was, not even trying to free his arms anymore. He just let the Prime continue to hold him. What else was he supposed to do, really?

It wasn’t… completely abhorrent. 

Not that he’d ever say it where anyone could hear.

“I’m sorry,” Optimus said again. “I should have stopped him when I had the chance.  _ Killed him _ when I had the chance.” It didn’t take a scientist to figure out which  _ him _ was being referenced here. There were only so many mechs who invited that kind of bitter venom when being spoken about. Especially when the speaker was Optimus “Can’t Hold a Grudge to Save His Life” Prime.

“Don’t apologize,” Starscream found himself snapping before he could think to keep quiet. “You aren’t to blame for the choices he made of his own volition. If you really think you could have stopped him, you clearly don’t know him as well as you think you do.”

There was a low noise from the back of Optimus’s vocalizer, and he pulled Starscream closer, to the point where Starscream felt his pedes leaving the ground. It was a  _ little _ demeaning, being picked up and held like a sparkling, but significantly less demeaning than being beaten to a sparking mess of scrap in front of his own subordinates. He’d take this clingy sentimentality over  _ that _ any day.

One of Optimus’s servos, the one not curled around his midsection and holding him aloft, trailed up and pressed firmly against the spot between his wings. He tried not to melt into it. “Still,” Optimus said quietly, “I am sorry you had to go through what you did at his hands. You did not deserve it.”

He’d just started resuming his attempts to free his hands from where they were trapped between his chassis and the Prime’s, but those words made him fall still again. “I know that,” he said, hoping his voice wasn’t as defensive as it sounded. It wasn’t a lie. Knowing something and believing it to be true were two very different things. 

“I am sure you know. But do you believe it?”

Damn him for being able to read Starscream so easily. With a quick tug, Starscream was able to free his arms. Rather than shoving the Prime away like he’d been planning to do, though, he raised them and set them around the larger mech’s collar. As much as he could reach anyways. 

“Yes,” he said, “I do.” 

He  _ did. _ Maybe he hadn’t, in the past. Maybe in the past, he’d thought he had deserved it. He’d thought he was in the wrong. That  _ he _ was the problem. But he knew better, now, so many years and several planets later. He knew he hadn’t deserved what he’d gotten and he believed it.

This was gonna get awkward if Optimus didn’t let go soon. But it wasn’t awkward yet, and it was actually pretty okay making physical contact with a mech who wasn’t about to try and hurt him. They were just standing in the middle of the base. (Optimus was just standing, rather, Starscream wasn’t even on his own two pedes. Which just made this more awkward.) Eventually the other Autobots would come back, and while Starscream may have been comfortable letting Optimus hold him like this, he wasn’t yet comfortable with the others seeing this kind of vulnerability from him. Not yet, at least.

So they’d have to separate eventually.

But that was a problem for future Starscream. Present Starscream, on the other hand, was perfectly happy to just set his head against Optimus’s chest and stop worrying about everything so much. It was hard to stay anxious when you had a mech so much stronger than yourself holding you like you were something precious. It wasn’t really anything Starscream was used to.

He could afford to relax. Just for a little while.


End file.
